TiK ToK We’re Getting Hitched: The Pressure of the Ring

I was going to write this blog about how we found our venue, but I’m switching it up. I thought I’d take this opportunity to talk about the ring. After my first blog was posted, it seemed a lot of reaction came from Amanda’s engagement ring. The picture we took together from the moment we got engaged doesn’t really do the ring justice. In fact, it looks completely different than what it is. Just to clarify, the ring has an emerald stone.  It doesn’t look very green in the engagement photo, but it is pretty bright in real life.

If there are any guys reading this, I have one big piece of advice for you . . . listen to your lady. That seems like an obvious bit of information, but it is very important. I felt a ton of pressure when it came to finding the right ring. I think every guy has this mental image of what it’s supposed to look like. We are constantly hit with examples, whether it’s an ad, a picture on Facebook or something in a movie. They always look so big, bright and shiny. And they look incredibly expensive. I’m sure I’m not the only guy out there that felt the stress that comes with picking the right ring.

I knew early on that Amanda was going to be in my life for a long time.  You’d think that taking the steps to make it official would be fun and exciting, but it was very intimidating for me.  The mental impression that I had about the ring was that it was going to wipe out my bank account. What’s the rule they say?  You have to spend 2 or 3 months of salary on the ring? Something like that. I didn’t have that much money to spend on that. We had rent to pay, and groceries to buy. Even though I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, I definitely delayed the ring because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get one good enough for her.

Over time, Amanda would send me a link here and there with a ring idea in it.  We’d joke about her ‘subtle hints,’ and laugh about it. I didn’t realize it at first, but she was actually doing me a huge favor.  She was showing me exactly what she was looking for. I knew she wanted something different. The prototypical engagement ring wasn’t her style. They’re beautiful, but not Amanda’s thing. I loved that because we aren’t your typical couple. We both like doing things a little differently than the norm.

I’ll admit, before we got engaged, the ring was put on the back burner for about a year. We had decided it was time to buy a house. That really sucked up all of our money for a while. Between saving for the initial purchase, then all of the little things that add up when we actually got into the home, there wasn’t much wiggle room. I have this fear of being broke. I’ve lived a life where I had to skip buying groceries because rent was due, or because I needed gas in order to drive to work. It’s not fun to have negative money in your account. Sure, I could’ve emptied my bank account to get the ring that I thought I needed to buy.  But being broke doesn’t help either of us.

Now back to the point of this blog post. Guys, listen to your women. Every woman is different, and the ring should be based on the person. When the time came that I knew I wanted to propose, I went back to those emails she had sent. I thought I should take a look and get the perfect idea of what to get for her. That’s when I realized that things didn’t cost exactly what I was thinking. I’m not implying that I took the cheap way out, but what she wanted didn’t have the same price tag I was anticipating. I remember looking at her suggestions while at work. As soon as I left, I went straight to the store and bought it. I’m a little compulsive like that. I had the ring for about three days before I proposed. I put a lot of pressure, and stress, on myself over the ring. Looking back on the experience, I really didn’t need to. Amanda had told me exactly what she wanted and I just didn’t pick up on it right away.

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